Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Dear faithful readers,

So it's Wednesday night and we (and by "we" I mean "I") have reached a critical juncture in the brief history of this fine blog: Either I can bust my ass until 3 or 4 in the morning to create some sort of digestible/mildy worthwhile project for you to look at, or I can hastily lay down a couple of sentences, give an appreciative nod to my slothly ways, suffer through approximately 2.3 ounces of guilts, and get to bed before midnight.

Would anyone care to guess which route I'm going to take here? I'll give you a hint: It rhymes with "criticsbedamnedIamfeelinglikeonelazymuthafuckarightaboutnow."

Of course, I wouldn't leave you hanging without anything to occupy some of your downtime at work, so I'll present you, my choicest of readers, with the following:

Did you happen to take a really good look at this confusing abomination of a website that I posted last week? Well, that fine online document got me thinking whether or not I'd ever seen a more worthless/overwhelmingly stupid website than that one. That's when I remembered THIS gem, forwarded to me by the infamous Dr. Mangilord well over a year ago.

A couple of important notes regarding that website:

1. Yes, that really is a real live law firm.
2. Yes, that really is their primary website.
3. Think that one rotating stick figure man is absurd? You should have seen the site when there were 4 of him bouncing around on their home page (I'm not kidding).
4. Do the rest of your life a favor and click on the "extras" tab. You shant be disappointed.
5. Yes, if I ever end up in legal trouble I will absolutely be hiring the Allison Law Group, regardless of the magnitude of the crime. Honestly, who wouldn't?

So here's the gauntlet I'm laying down before you today: If you know of any unintentionally spectacular websites akin to the two I've linked to here today, PLEASE let me know of their existence via the comments area or my infinitely lovely email inbox ( My bookmarks list shall be forever grateful, I can assure you of that.

Also, if you could figure out how to squeeze one more colon into this post, I'd really... oh man, what's the phrase I'm looking for here? Oh yeah: Appreciate it.



P.S. I'll be heading to Invesco Field at Mile High tomorrow night to hear some political guy talk about something or other... but to be honest, that's not really why I'm going. Care to check the 7:00-8:00PM slot? That's right, the venerable John Kuniholm followed by the one and only MICHAEL FUCKING MCDONALD!!! WOOOOO!!!! USA!! USA!! USA!!!!

1 comment:

Shawn said...

Apparently the Official website for the city of Arcade, NY, this is a site that makes me sure I never want to live in a small town.

Graphics drawn by a five year old with a broken hand, that look like they should be on a poster with Woodsy Owl from the 80's. One woman is even wearing shoulder pads, I swear.

The teen center is particularly depressing: only open four hours per week on Friday night, when people are supposed to be out getting laid and smoking pot. Or your drug of choice, and your potentially dangerous and life altering social activity, whatever blows your dress up.

"Click here to see what there is to do there", says the banner, and you do, because it's Friday night and you have nothing to do, so why not go to the city community center and see if they have any rusty razor blades you can put to good use?

So go ahead and click the banner. I dare ya.

Depressing as all hell, isn't it?

This gets my vote for worst website evar.