Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Goodness gracious, what a hectic week it's been in the McHanslaw Manor. Allow me to provide you with a summary:

After waking this last Saturday morning (well, this was honestly probably around 1pm, but that's morning enough by my standards) I rolled out of bed and stumbled my way down the well trodden path that lies between my bed and my laptop, but after only a few steps I could tell that something just wasn't quite right. Following a minute or two of semiconscious investigation, I came to the startling conclusion that my feet were submerged in about an inch and a half of standing water. Marvelous.

As it turns out, the night before this involuntary foot washing exercise my neighbor had been out watering her garden and had forgotten to turn off her faucet before heading in for the night, which resulted in her hose blasting the side of my family's house with a steady stream of water for about 8 to 12 hours. That water slowly found its way through my basement's foundation, then through the base of the drywall, and finally onto the carpet covered concrete that I was walking on, where it collected and (presumably) plotted its next move.

You probably won't be surprised to learn that this unplanned mess took a significant chunk out of the time I had available to work on miscellaneous projects over the weekend, as I had to spend the majority of the following 2 days running a Shop Vac and later a Rug Doctor back and forth over the substantial reservoirs that were festering in my family's basement's exceptionally uneven floor (the house was built in 1910... apparently the plumb bob had yet to be invented at that time, because our basement foundation has all the surface predictability that you'd expect from a 2nd rate fun house mirror). Once Monday rolled around it became painfully obvious that our carpet and walls were growing in a hefty supply of mold, so we had to call in a team of specialists to rip all the carpet out of that room and run some frightfully large and noisy dehumidifying apparatuses down there for the next 3 days.

(by the way, the neighbors that caused this fiasco apologetically and promptly offered to pay for the costs we've incurred as a result of their sloppy hose management, so no worries on that front)

Anyway, all of this activity has left our living room (which is typically my primary workspace) looking like this:

Basement flooded

Regular Good Rubbish readers will note the presence of my Bush/Reagan art project thing hanging on the wall in that shot... yeah, I honestly haven't found a better place for that thing than right there. Oh, and you see that nice flat panel tv hanging on the wall there? That stopped working properly about a month ago. What can I say? The McHanslaw clan is on a roll.

Complicating matters even further for me, we had to move all of the furniture from that living room into my already horribly cluttered bedroom, leaving me with a living situation that looks something like-a this:


As you may be able to gather from this photograph, my bed has rather abruptly become an impregnable fortress, so I've spent the past 5 nights sleeping on a hardwood floor in a sleeping bag upstairs. I actually woke up feeling quite refreshed the first night, but let's just say that the honeymoon period between myself and the early 20th century flooring in my home has come to a definite close.

Anyway, with all of this zaniness going on I still managed to finish up work on the "Best Friends Forever" photo from last week (thanks to all of you who submitted ideas/photos, by the way), BUT I can't find the frame right now (it's buried in one of the many boxes that were hurried away from the flood waters when they were first discovered) so you fine folks won't be seeing the final product until I stumble across that thing again.

So yeah, for the time being this garbled narrative of a post will have to pass for genuine Good Rubbish material. That said, I have another post all lined up for early next week which should be pretty sweet, so be sure to look forward to that (but only if your life is almost entirely devoid of joy and/or merit).

Enjoy your 4th of Joo-lie people. Amurrica rules.

P.S. You wouldn't happen to be good at drawing crude, cartoonish, anthropomorphic penises using only horribly simplistic and/or outdated programs on your computer, would you? If so, please email a sample of your work to


Artimus Mangilord said...

Contact Peter D. for a decent sketch of a D.

Father Rhyme said...

How can I get in touch with him? He's never given me his email address.

For the record, this is why you don't print inside jokes in the comment section of your own blog. I think all of 3 people on the face of the earth would find my previous statement at all humorous, and 2 of those people don't read this quasi-publication.

Fuck it, I'm leaving it. It's a new morning in America, and I'm making th least of it.