Over the past few weeks the unconscionably stupid, unfunny, uninteresting, and obnoxious image pictured below has become a bona-fide viral phenomenon on the social networking site known to many as "Facebook." No really, it has. I'm not kidding.
If you aren't a Facebook user and are wondering how something as exceptionally unentertaining as that image could possibly become a widespread obsession among social networking aficionados, I can offer you no explanation beyond stating that a lot of people (see: fools) apparently derive a great deal of excitement and/or pleasure from "tagging" their friends as being represented by one of the 30 or so blobbish caricatures pictured in this decidedly unfunny image. Those friends then reply to the image by saying something like, "OMG, I m so not teh jock!" after which point the initial party responds by saying either "ROFL!!!1!!#@" or "dude ur so good @ sports, I rely respetc that about u." Regardless of which route the tagging party chooses to take, the circle of artificial social interaction/half-hearted praise is typically complete as of this point.
Not that we were in short supply of evidence of this fact, but you can rest assured that this image's recent popularity serves as irrefutable proof that 99% of internet users are 100% not well.
Anyway, I had a slow Friday night this weekend (some might refer to it as a "typical" Friday night, but there's no need to listen to the treachery of such charlatans), so I made my own non-terrible version of this asinine image... well, it's still terrible, but it's not as terrible as much as the first one. It's what the ancient Greeks would have called "a definite improvement over the original piece of crap."
All you Facebook users out there can feel free to steal this new image of mine and tag your own friends in it - I assure you, if your friends are anything like mine they'll find the gesture to be confusing, underwhelming, and a perfectly good reason to continue ignoring you.
In other Rubbish-related news, longtime friend of the blog Shawn AKA Jouda Mann clued me in to the existence of this towering monstrosity of deliciousness via email (that's firstname.lastname@example.org, to any of you folks out there who might be interested in such information). Even after investing a staggering 5 to 8 minutes of research into the beast I have absolutely no idea what it's supposed to do, but does functionality even come into consideration here? I don't care if it administers lead paint colonics, it's badass-edness and generalized superb-osity simply cannot be contested.
Sunday, March 1, 2009