Sunday, October 26, 2008

A GRUPDATE OF MODERATELY UN-EPIC PROPORTIONS

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Well friends and neighbors, as you may have guessed by way of the recent dearth in new posts, something is amiss in the world of Rubbish.

Breaking with tradition, the root cause of this most recent gap in top-quality internet content isn't laziness on my part. Oh no, this time I'll instead be evoking my second most popular excuse: Bizarre health problems.

For about the past 5 or 6 weeks I've been fighting off this on-again off-again gut problem which, as far as anyone can figure, appears to be a bacterial infection of the gallbladder. Prerequisites for this condition are usually defined as "The Four F's," those being:

1. You're a Female
2. You're Fat
3. You're over Forty
4. You're Flatulent

Let it be known that I only fit one of these four requirements, but I do so with gusto. Room clearing gusto.

Anyway, far be it from me to question an unconventional diagnosis for myself, because let's not kid ourselves here, if I had a dime for every time I've proven to be an outright medical anomaly... well, I'd probably be paying my soon to be newly acquired Gastroenterologist in cash. And leaving a sawbuck for his secretary. She helped me read the new issue of Ranger Rick.

Here's the end game: I'm growing really tired of running a mild fever all the time and generally feeling like crap, so I'm either going to have surgery to remove this vile bile contraption (something I've been trying my damnedest to avoid this whole time by eating a ludicrously bland diet and taking a number of supplements), or it's going to magically get better sometime within the next week or so (one of these potential resolutions is more likely than the other, but I'll leave it up to you to decide which one that is). Regardless of how things turn out, I probably won't be producing any new material until it IS resolved and I'm fully back on my feet, so if I seem to be laying low for the next couple of weeks... well, that's why.

Word.

-Enron

2 comments:

RosenRed said...

We'll be right here waiting...
Get well soon :)

Jouda Mann said...

Pssh.
Pussy.


No, really, get better.

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