Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I WAS FAR LESS ATTACHED TO RUE MCCLANAHAN

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No matter how many people beg me to do so, I swear to each and every one of my readers that I will NEVER allow this blog to become an online obituary service. That said, a maiden of Estelle Getty's caliber only dies once every 2.5 thousand years, and as such I would be a fool to let the day of her passing go by without contributing my thoughts:

Estelle Getty was the definitive shit. I'm way sad that she died.

I become very terse when I get upset.

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Stop or My Mom Will Shoot? More like Stop or My Mom Will Grow Big Fucking Wings and Fly Up to Heaven to Drop a Vintage Sophia Petrillo One Liner on Ernest Hemingway Before Bitch Slapping the Mother Fucker.

Godspeed you goldenest of girls... godspeed.

7 comments:

Shawn said...

Picture it, Key West Florida, 1926. I was down there delivering a black rose to someone for Jimmy the Hand Tedello. You know you did something wrong when Jimmy the Hand gives you a black rose. So this bearded guy comes up to me and starts talking something about a book he was writing, something about an Old Guy in a Lake.

Ma, do you mean The Old Man and the Sea? That was Ernest Hemingway! What did you do?

Well Dorothy, let's just say your father might not be your father.

Father Rhyme said...

I honestly don't know which newsitem I find more troubling, Shawn - that you're actually a 100+ year old woman, or that your mom boned the preeminent writer of the 20th century.

I'll have to contemplate this for some time, though I can assure you that I won't enjoy doing so.

Shawn said...

Actually, I'm just a guy who grew up watching Golden Girls because I was too socially awkward to get a date. I'm sure you can relate. No malice intended; We're brothers of the same clan.

Father Rhyme said...

Socially awkward??? Dateless??? Watching the Golden Girls???

No sir, I have no idea what you're talking about. Why, just last night I hosted a party at the Luxor for myself and 3,000 of my closest friends, and I brought NINE dates with me. Nine! And they were all like, WAY hot. You wouldn't even believe it. Later on we watched a few episodes of Evening Shade, because that's the show we always watch, and then we went to bed.

True story.

Shawn said...

Yeah yeah, then you woke up. It's obvious that you revel in your geekdom. And you should, because it's something to be proud of.

Faye said...

did you know she was the youngest golden girl? i mis her wit!

Father Rhyme said...

Indeed I was aware of that, Faye. Dear Estelle was blessed with the rarest of comedic genes: Those that not only provide their possessor with a wit beyond compare, but also allow him/her appear to be 95 years old by the time they hit 40, but then allow them to not age a single day until they eventually expire.

Oh dear... now you've gone and made me depressed all over again. Come back, Sophia!!

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