Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I've never really been the type to gush over the accomplishments of others (I'm usually too busy staring into mirrors and meticulously grooming my chest hairs to notice anyone else's contributions to society, let alone comment on them), but every now and again I find myself introduced to a piece of artwork or construction that is so undeniably excellent that I am left with no choice but to heap praise upon the piece's creator in a manner that could only be described as "embarrassing," "shameful," and "degrading to black women the world over."

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to probably be the first to introduce you to Capsize Design - a premier custom furniture manufacturing outfit type thing in Denver, Colorado that just happens to be run by 4 good friends of mine from my collegiate years. Well... that's not entirely true, it's actually run by 3 good friends of mine from college and one guy that I've briefly talked to on probably 40 separate occasions, but I believe we had to exchange names and handshakes prior to each and every one of those fleeting conversations so somehow I get the impression that we really aren't all that close.

Anyway, here's the story of Capsize Design as I see it, because I'm almost certain that you really give a shit: Following their graduation from the University of Colorado, these four fine young gentlemen each independently set out to make a name for themselves in the working world, and were fairly successful in doing so (if I remember correctly one of them did well as a book salesman, another a chef, the third presumably became some sort of business man, and the fourth, the last time I saw him at least, appeared to be making the rounds as a professional impersonator of either Kenny Rodgers or the Gordon's Fisherman). Some time later they decided to collectively pursue a passion which they all shared (that being furniture building, I cleverly didn't mention this passion earlier in the story as it would have totally given away the ending), so they scraped together some tools and finances (with no aid from venture capital, I might add) and started their own custom furniture company out of their home in central Denver. From those recent modest beginnings they have seen their client list and notoriety grow exponentially, and have been featured in all of the major newspapers around the Denver area, which I think is pretty neat in a "yeah, no one reads newspapers anymore, but whatever" sort of way.

A couple more important things to note about these guys: Much like many of my friends from college, I have not seen these guys in well over a year, and they have no idea where I live. Also, the fact that these guys design and build furniture for a living and keep their financial heads above water while doing so has rendered me RIDICULOUSLY jealous of them, and I have no qualms with admitting that fact. Combine those two elements together and you've got a recipe that ends with your boy Enron lobbing cheap shots at Capsize like they're a furniture building effigy of Mussolini, so please understand that any underhanded compliments or outright sucker punches I may throw at them in the preceding or following paragraphs are born only out of my incredibly petty nature. Clear? Clear. Let's proceed.

So I've been receiving updates through the Capsize mailing list for quite some time now, as I've always found their more conventional projects to be very interesting on a structural level (this one and this little guy are two personal favorites of mine), but just last week I received notice that they had just completed a spectacular repurposing project - one which I soon learned puts my finest work to shame roughly 3000x over.

because it's 1:30 in the morning and I'm too goddamn tired to come up with a smooth transition between paragraphs.

As things often transpire in the world of design where the designers actually get paid for the work that they do, the guys from Capsize got together with their client (who I believe is Pure Brand Communications, an advertising agency in Denver, though I'm not certain of this) who happens to have quite the fancy for repurposing/dumpster diving/recycling-based projects and industrial designs. After partaking in an extensive creative jam session the Capsize crew headed down to a large industrial scrap yard (they did not specify to me where this scrap yard was, presumably because they knew I'd either abuse the hell out of it or attempt to live in it) where they collected about 17 separate pieces of industrial flotsam containing the precious metal plates, bolts, conveyor pins, and odds and ends which would eventually become their end product. After completing their build, the piece was broken down into three sections before being reassembled on site.

End project summary, begin project pictures:



Don't even try to kid yourself here, that is one fucking cool desk. I particularly like how they left the conveyor pins on the lower half of the desk exposed, so if the secretary gets pissed at her computer she can forcefully roll it off her desk without putting too much stress on her arms, back, and shoulders. That's what we in the business world call "Effective Risk Management" folks, you should look into it. If you'd like to see some more pictures of this wicked sweet project, you can check them out on Capsize's website here. If however you'd rather look at a picture of a really cute kitten drinking a mai tai, you can click this link. I can't blame you for choosing the second option just then. You're only human.

In closing, I'd like to thank the fine folks at Capsize not only for letting me use their photographs for this post, but also for making all of my repurposing efforts look like total shit. There really is no greater gift a man can receive than a feeling of sincere inadequacy.

The end.


Father Rhyme said...

Just so everyone knows, though I absolutely love the work that the fine people at Capsize have put together, I'm very disappointed in myself for not finding a spot in this blog entry to mercilessly make fun of their business' name.

My apologies to you if you shared in this disappointment... in the future, I'll do my best to be even more mean spirited.

PeteBryan said...

You lost me at "4 CU grads".


Father Rhyme said...

You really should have kept reading past that part, Pete. Towards the end I break off on a random tangent about how Colorado State dropouts who guzzle more malt liquor than Billy Dee Williams and appear to be totally whipped by their ex girlfriends are God's greatest gift to mankind.

Did I just win something with that rebuttal? I'm pretty sure I did, but I'm not entirely sure... of course, I guess implicitly asking a Colorado State "alum" what it feels like to win something is a little like asking Gandhi what it feels like to crush another man's skull with your fist.

In the tennis world, this is what we call "thirty love."