FIRST OFFICIAL DISPATCH FROM THE DESK OF ENRON MCHANSLAW

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The time honored practices of couch-lounging and ass-scratching provide a seemingly limitless supply of positive benefits to all who wish to partake in them, but somehow I have grown weary of those sacred non-activities. Three years can do that to a man. I have watched Coming To America no fewer than 34 times on Comedy Central. I have involuntarily memorized several episodes of Garfield and Friends. I have found Linda Cohn attractive on more than one occasion. I have hit rock bottom.

Just so we don't stumble over any glaring holes in my story line here, I also took an extended nap on the rocky bottom floor as I lacked the necessary fortitude, interest, and wherewithal to swim back up to the surface. I found the nap to be refreshing, but exceedingly wet. Substantially inferior to the typical land nap, that's for sure.

After much careful deliberation, I have risen... at least from my ironclad grip on the sofa: I have created this blog. Impressed? I agree with your cynical reply, but there is at least one way that you and I are different. You see, if I don't read this blog regularly, you won't bite my nose off while I sleep. That's a pretty critical distinction. Think about it.

So what is this blog? Well you see, I have inordinate amounts of spare time on my hands, but I'm tired of using that time to watch television and braid my leg hair, so I've immersed myself in a bevy of ill-conceived projects that may or may not produce entertaining/useful results. Some of these projects have entirely artistic aims, while others I'm hoping will actually be useful. All of these projects come from the field of repurposing: Taking stuff that was once used for something, and altering it to be used for something else (or in the case of art-like objects, "taking something that someone else made and deftly ruining it"). By the way, I only use the term "repurposing" reluctantly - I sincerely prefer the phrase "making stuff out of crap."

This shall be a how-to guide, a celebration of impractical ideas, and an exceptional way for me to kill time. This shall be the face of Christ in a hot dog bun: This shall be delicious.

As to how long this carnival of wordsmithing and object manipulation shall last, only Time will tell... though it should be noted that Time currently has a sawbuck riding on "a little over two weeks, or until the man's parents buy a puppy."

Enjoy, honkies!