Dear friends, nearly five full weeks have passed since last we met, and while I don't normally grapple with "current" (those quotation marks are pretty weighty at this point) events on this blog, what a positively insane five weeks it's been:
As you're all undoubtedly aware, the world of snarky, self-obsessed, passively anti-consumerist bloggers such as myself lost a true friend 2 weeks ago when TV pitchman extraordinaire Billy Mays was found dead at his home in Tampa, Florida. As some of my longer-tenured readers may recall, Mays Mighty-Puttied his place into my heart some 6 years ago when an autographed picture of the man somewhat serendipitously fell into my lap while I was serving as a counselor at a summer camp. As much as I abhor the concept of what Billy Mays made his millions doing (shoveling truckloads of mildly usable crap down the throats of those too stupid to defend their checking accounts), I've got pronounced and well documented soft spots both for people who choose to scream instead of talk and for folks who can manage to take themselves 100% seriously despite the fact that no one else does, so I'll miss the shit out of the guy. I really will.
Mays' funeral was held on July 3, 2009 in his hometown of McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania where he was buried. The pallbearers for the funeral wore blue shirts and khaki pants at the funeral, much like Mays wore when he advertised his products. According to KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh, he was buried wearing a shirt with the OxiClean logo on it.I speak without an ounce of sarcasm in my voice when I say that I earnestly hope my obituary reads exactly like that when I die... though somehow I doubt that OxiClean shirts will still be readily available in 2114. Shit.